all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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