Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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