My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
