Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
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