the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
