so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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