totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize