Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
