dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize