I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
