it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
