Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
