Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Randomize
