3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
