You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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