Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
