oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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