would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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