Me. At least after what I've been through.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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