Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
We need to get me chipped asap
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
