During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
