just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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