What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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