Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
