So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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