did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
