Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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