return my video game
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.