idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
