I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house