Texts From Last Night

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  (914): View more from New York

  ____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...

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  (914): ____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker... http://tfl.nu/8now
  Replies (1) Good night (1224) Bad night (532)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  My hand turned me down

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  (303): My hand turned me down http://tfl.nu/yueq
  Replies (5) Good night (565) Bad night (3110)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Have a good day. My vagina shrank.

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  (734): Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember. (734): Have a good day. My vagina shrank. http://tfl.nu/3o44
  Replies (7) Good night (642) Bad night (1774)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I guess God knew he was going to be bald...

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  (281): What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh? (832): I guess God knew he was going to be bald... http://tfl.nu/ipcy
  Replies (35) Good night (3285) Bad night (560)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?

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  (480): how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back? http://tfl.nu/0voi
  Replies (35) Good night (808) Bad night (3457)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.

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  (503): I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats. http://tfl.nu/4me1
  Replies (32) Good night (1074) Bad night (5419)
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  (415): View more from California

  Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up

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  (415): Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up http://tfl.nu/w3uw
  Replies (27) Good night (6049) Bad night (994)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.

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  (203): The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward. http://tfl.nu/eiym
  Replies (6) Good night (759) Bad night (1771)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?

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  (509): Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right? http://tfl.nu/bnll
  Replies (16) Good night (1744) Bad night (693)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex

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  (203): I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex http://tfl.nu/1qp3
  Replies (5) Good night (1700) Bad night (516)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I ate you ate to the whole david gray album

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  (631): I ate you ate to the whole david gray album http://tfl.nu/r321
  Replies (6) Good night (429) Bad night (615)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.

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  (701): If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs. http://tfl.nu/qa5n
  Replies (5) Good night (472) Bad night (1226)
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  (936): View more from Texas

  I AM VODKA MAN

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  (936): I AM VODKA MAN http://tfl.nu/r5if
  Replies (5) Good night (694) Bad night (323)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.

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  (513): If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can. http://tfl.nu/a0mj
  Replies (2) Good night (459) Bad night (227)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes

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  (614): hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes http://tfl.nu/9g7z
  Replies (0) Good night (225) Bad night (444)

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