we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
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