i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
