my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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