So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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