so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
