Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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