he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
