People in love make me want to vomit
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
