i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
