I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
