i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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