As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
They are going to name an STD after you.
Let's get the cat blown out
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize