it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
God, I missed his penis.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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