He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
