haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
