I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
