she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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