it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
