Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Randomize
