i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
