Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
