she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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