dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
