You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
