curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
