I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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