White coat. Heels.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
