Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
