What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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