porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
